Him and I
by OrikamiGirl
Summary: Reyna-centric angst. One-sided Jeyna, Percabeth, and Jasper. Mostly about how Reyna felt with her best friend gone for eight months. How she coped, felt, and thought.


Hi :) This is my first fanfic, so just keep that in mind. I really felt sad for Reyna in Rick Riordan's The Lost Heroes of Olympus series. Everything is in her P.O.V. It's a drabble but it's centered a lot about Reyna's relationship with Jason. Please tell me if it got too extreme as well. Please read this in the regular site if you're reading this on the mobile version since you can't see italics and underlined words in the mobile form. The italics are the "real" Reyna's thoughts.

Oh, and it's an one-sided Jeyna fic with Jasper, so don't like, don't read. But I might also do an alternate ending that has Jeyna later. Or Leyna :)

* * *

I was always myself around him.

_Only__ him and no one else._

I could smile at him. I could gloat, whine, and even break down and cry right in front of his eyes. And he would always come to comfort me, hugging me, patting my head, and holding me when I felt like falling.

_Falling somewhere dark and just escaping away from all this . . ._

I knew he'd understand. Because he was just like me; a leader, meant to bring the Romans into battle, and prosperity.

_We were not allowed to cry. A weak leader has weak soldiers._

I could let down my walls in front of him because I knew that he'd always be there for me. He'd never let me down.

_Where did all that go? Where did you go?_

I was going to tell him that night, really. I was going to tell him my feelings. I was going to tell him my hopes for us, together and then give him an escape if he didn't want to.

_I didn't want to lose my best friend. He was the world to me._

I even opened my mouth at dinner to try to say it to him. But the words, the words couldn't come out, not with everyone watching. Not with everyone hearing the warrior goddess's daughter was growing soft for a boy. No, not like that.

_If only I hadn't been so proud. He could have heard me out, see me confess._

"What is it?" Jason had asked. He cared about me. I could see it in his eyes.  
They were bright blue and they twinkled when he was happy. They always sparkled around me.

_They shine around _**_her _**_now._

"I-um, never mind. I'll tell you tomorrow, right after breakfast." I stuttered nervously.

He looked surprised, concerned, and then he smiled. I was surprised as well. But five minutes later he was talking and eating again. Our conversation was forgotten.

_Just like all those other memories of us that you chose to ignore._

The Reyna that he knew around people other than himself was proud, cold, and thought of the Romans before herself. She was emotionless, smiling only in victory. She scared me. But Lupa had done a good job in training me.

_She did it too well._

I could never escape the harsher side of myself. Even if I wanted to. There were other people depending on me.

_Those people put their faith into someone that wasn't there. An illusion._

The next day he had disappeared. It almost seemed as if he had vanished into thin air. There was a big uproar about it. I don't think Romans would be that scared or angry if it was me that had gone missing instead.

_It was always just him that cared about me...the real me._

It was so different with him gone. After a month or two I had to stop looking. I had a city to run. For the both of us.

_I felt so lost those days. I bottled up, disconnected from the rest of the world._

I never stopped loving him though. There was an ache, right be the left side of my chest. It never went away. It often grew worse when I went to places we used to go. Like the praetor's room, where he sometimes hugged me when I let the walls down.

_Sometimes, I'd do that just so I could feel his arms around me. They were so warm . . . _

But I was a daughter of Bellona: A weak leader makes a weak army. I built the walls around my mind stronger, afraid that if I broke down without Jason, I wouldn't be strong enough to protect my new home.

_It can't go like he did. I- I won't let it!_

It was all I had left to keep. I tried not thinking about him, but the attempts were useless. Sometimes I'd cry in my sleep. I could only know when my pillow smelled like sweet salt and a sad feeling would wash over me.

_It was like nostalgia, as I flash-backed so many times when I smelled my pillow in the morning._

The ache was still there of course. But it was worse now. It burned and blistered on the place where some people said a heart would be. It was eating me up. Slowly, but surely, it was making sure that the Reyna that Jason knew was to be reduced to the smell of sweet salt.

_The last evidence of tears._

I used to be able to let the mental walls down, even for a fraction of a second, but now, most of me was the wall. Only a little of me was left. The heartache was overpowering me and now, most of me was the wall. The rest were tears.

_I depended on him so much. I was scared to wonder about what would happen . . . if he never came back._

Then he came, that boy, the reason my first home was blown up. Percy.

_He might not have done it on purpose but . . . that was home._

At first I suspected him, of something, of anything. I needed a reason why my life was like this, I needed someone to blame it all on.

_I needed hope that this wasn't because of me. _

But he thought like Jason, putting others before himself. He smiled like him and his eyes twinkled as well. I had to give up. I could never hate a Jason look-alike.

_But it hurts to look at him and not see a scar on his lip so much, like I'm being tricked._

Around him, the ache seemed to weaken. The Reyna that Jason knew was growing, slowly, but fast enough to let me know – Percy could help me. My walls were strong and I never let them down around me, but I sensed that he knew. He knew there was more to me than a proud person that was cold to everyone. He knew I had weaknesses.

_Just like Jason. He understood. But then again, Jason was my weakness all along._

I decided to ask him. Maybe he would try to help ease the heartache out of my life. I thought this over quickly:

Percy was an opportunity for me to start again. I couldn't let this chance go like how I let Jason go.

_A fresh start that might take away the pain._

I asked him. He refused politely. I was lost again.

_I had no idea what to do._

He left on a quest to save the world. With the 2 other Legion 5 kids, Frank and Hazel? Me, the real me, honestly didn't care. But Reyna, the warrior was ready to take on everyone when she got a turn to save the world. She was thirsting for victory.

_I still don't_ _care. I want the world to end. I want to escape from all this._

I trained my soldiers until exhaustion. I could keep my mind off the rest of the world better this way. I sparred with them, my mind only focused on the sound of metal against metal and the whoosh of air that came when I swung my sword. There was nothing else to live for. Only protecting my home.

_It's not going to end up like Jason._

_It's not going to become another missed chance for something I . . . love._

But then they arrived. They saved the world. Percy, the one who looked like Jason. Frank the Zhang boy. And the Pluto girl, Hazel.

_The misfits saved the day. But don't they always?_

Then they said some things that nearly made the ache vanish.

Jason was in the Greek demigod camp. Jason probably also saved the world with the Greek demigods. Jason had forgotten all his memories, but he'd been getting them back lately. And Jason would be coming . . . very soon.

_What if he found another girl? What if he forgets to remember me? What if . . ._

The ache had been reduced to a fraction of what had been before. And the real Reyna was growing; the real Reyna was recovering quicker than I ever thought she could.

_He's coming and I look a mess! I better change and wash and . . . . _

No. The warrior Reyna wasn't like that. She was calm and reserved. 'Warriors only appreciate their scars as they would given medallions of a battle,' she gently chided me as I surveyed my arm's length, wincing at the sight of the marred skin.

_It can't be that bad. I – I miss him. Maybe – maybe he missed me too._

The ship arrived. The day that I had been waiting for months had finally come – seeing Jason again.

My heart was pounding as the ship slowly descended. "I miss Jason" I told Percy, "I hope you're right. I hope he's on that ship."

It landed and the door opened. I could see blond hair and electric blue eyes. I smiled. Then I frowned. Jason was holding a girl's hand. And whispering in her ear, making her begin to giggle with delight.

_Why? I waited for you. I love you. Why don't . . . why don't I get my happy ending as well?_

I felt something break inside of me as Jason smiled, at his accomplishment of making her laugh.

_I thought only I could make you smile like that. The smile where you're forgetting about everything around you except . . . us._

The girl had dark hair, like me, but that's where the similarities ended. She had unique kaleidoscope eyes with a perfect nose and full, pink lips. She had flawless skin and her shiny hair was choppy, but pretty in a rough sort of way. And her laugh was like tinkling bells. She was beautiful, whereas I . . . I was a far way from attractive. My eyes were a harsh gray, and my dull black braid was simple. I had a sharp nose, almost Grecian. My lips were thin. My skin had dozens of scars from battles and my laugh was usually forced sounding because it was forced.

_We were polar opposites._

I couldn't stay here any longer.

"I'll be in the praetor room. Welcome Jaso - the Greeks for me." I said quietly to Percy, who was being glomped and kissed by a blonde girl with eyes like mine. I raced back to the praetor's room and locked the door.

_My stronghold. My castle. My safe haven._

I slumped to the floor, even my knees were quitting on me. Aurum and Argentum whined and pressed their cold, metallic noses to my cheeks, trying to comfort me. I rolled up in a ball in a corner of the empty room.

And I began . . . to cry.

* * *

Wow. I was feeling angsty lately and decided to write on it. This is the creation of my crazyness. Please Review though! I want to know if anyone likes my drabble :) I can't believe I gave Reyna so many feelings though . . .

If this was different from the original story you read, I've been giving it little tweaks here and there :)


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